Our beliefs drive us. They are the core of our being. If we don’t believe in anything, or our beliefs are shaken, we can feel lost. That’s why it’s so important to find sound beliefs you can rely on. They don’t have to be complicated and they don’t have to match the crowd. They just have to ground us and keep us on a steady path. Our beliefs guide our decisions and our goals. Perhaps because the world demands a variety of people, our beliefs have gone a variety of ways.
Some believe in charity and their goals are driven towards service to those in need. Some believe in growth and their goals are success driven, moving them towards bigger business or larger structures. Others may believe in peace and their goals are quiet, nature-driven, or even in helping others achieve similar ends. Note how we’re not talking about religion. This is about core values and beliefs in which values drive you.
Beliefs and Values
When a person’s beliefs aren’t matched to their values, things can get confusing. Our belief is what we feel is true and our value is what we feel is important. If you believe in loving your neighbor, you likely value kindness and compassion. However, if you’re distraught and have not been yourself, perhaps you’ve been unkind or unhelpful recently, you may find yourself out of step. This leads to confusion, change in behavior, and unhappiness.
We need to ask ourselves what we truly believe in and what we truly value. Crowe Associates explains this well and has a link to their values assessment. You can use that or many others available for free online. Your coach may ask you to fill one out at one of your first sessions. This helps a coach determine where your values are, ask the right questions, and remind you of your core beliefs and what is important to you.
When Things Don’t Line Up
Here’s a story of when poor beliefs don’t line up with values.
A young boy and his mother are on the way to a soccer game and the boy is in a foul mood.
“You’re going to do your best today!” his mother says.
“I’m not going to score,” he replies. “We’re going to lose.”
“Think positive,” she insists.
“I’m positive we’re going to lose!”
The boy values scoring a goal but doesn’t believe he can. If he valued playing his best, perhaps that would be easier to believe? Or perhaps he could believe in the possibility of scoring by playing his best. The bottom line is that our beliefs need to line up with our values and lead us to positive outcomes.
Finding Unity in Yourself
Once you’re certain of your beliefs and values, you can assess (sometimes with help) if you’re on the track to success. When values and beliefs line up, we find balance. More about that here. We don’t have to be stuck on beliefs and values that hurt us or hinder us. We need to be positive in our beliefs, especially our beliefs in ourselves. Each of us is valuable, no matter who you are. You have no idea what you’re capable of until you take a chance and start valuing yourself for who you are instead of who you’re not. Need help? Reach out today!