Life as a First Responder Kid
Those who are born into first responder life know a different normal. First responder kids have fewer family dinners with everyone present. They understand a parent working overnight is normal. It may be someone different picking them up throughout the week or things may change on the fly. One parent may be the only one their friends and teachers even see.
It’s just a different normal when you’re a first responder kid. While a kid may not know any different, it might be hard sometimes.
“Daddy never gets to see my swim lesson.”
“Mom never comes on field trips.”
“I want to stay up until you kiss me goodnight.”
Parents have to make sacrifices and, try as they might, kids sense the tension, the tiredness, and the stress.
But life as a first responder kid isn’t all bad. Afterall, they have heroes to look up to.
You’re an Inspiration
Between shifts, packing food, doing errands, and driving kids places, parents who work this lifestyle can easily miss one important factor. You’re an inspiration to those kids. They are watching. Your busyness makes it easy to miss, but they’re looking up to you.
They see you working hard, prioritizing things, and doing your best. They see you rest your head in your hands and try to sneak a nap when you’re watching a movie together. They know you’re trying, even from a young age. And what’s most important is they’re going to imitate you because your way is what they know.
They say character is who you are when no one’s watching, but these kids are always watching.
So often, kids will follow in their parents’ footsteps. Medical parents often have medical kids. Athletes often raise new athletes. First responders are another generational category.
So, if you’re going to be their hero, be the person to them you always wanted—or maybe had—when you were growing up. Be honest, kind, responsible. Be the loving parent they need. You’re capable. After all, you chose a servant’s heart. And while you’re at it, be resilient.
Resilience
First responder kids learn resilience. They know they won’t get sympathy unless the situation is real. Their leg needs to practically fall off before a hospital visit. When siblings fight, they both get in trouble and learn self-governance a little sooner.
It’s a tough love but it’s real love. You see how hard the world is and you’re building strong, resilient kids. First responder kids see the look on your face after a hard shift and they learn empathy young. They see changes in their parents first. Secondary trauma can affect them even if you try hard to hide it. You don’t want them experiencing fear or stress from your job. So take care of you and be THAT example too!
Want to teach your kids true resilience? Learn your own coping and resilience skills and let them see that on a daily basis. Teach it to them by example and through family discussions. There are great programs out there too, like the First Responders Children’s Foundation Resiliency Program. Overall, kids are more capable than people realize.
My Kids, My heroes
First responder kids are actually our heroes. They handle more than we realize and take it all in stride. They know their family is different from their peers’ from an early age. That’s okay. Their love is strong and their faithfulness to their parents is resilient. Let’s continue to be the heroes they need, the heroes they deserve.
[Want to be a better hero to your kids? Reach out to us and see how we can help!]