Let’s get right to it. Some people are still unclear on the difference between resilience and coping. They think the line blurs or that it’s even the same thing. That’s just not true, so we’re going to try an analogy to help illustrate the difference between resilience and coping.
You might want to save this for future reference. Ready?
The Rubber Band
Imagine a rubber band and its lifetime. Some are stretchier than others. Some last longer while others become brittle. Rubber bands can have varying elasticity and, depending on use, lengths of life. Hang on to that for a while.
We’re going to jump right into this.
Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back or spring back to an original form or an original condition. Now consider a rubber band. When you stretch the rubber band, it comes back to its original position. If you leave it stretched out for a long period of time, that rubber band will eventually lose its elasticity. In other words, it loses its resilience.
You know what a rubber band looks like with overstretching, overuse, or being kept in a stretched position for a long time. It becomes frayed, damaged, or simply loses its elasticity if it hasn’t had time to bounce back to its original shape or condition.
Digest that for a moment. Actually read that previous paragraph again.
Coping
Now, let’s look at how this rubber band relates to coping.
If that elasticity is lost, you would need to take certain measures in order to use the rubber band again, such as doubling it up or tying it. That extra measure is a coping mechanism. Eventually, using those methods will worsen the rubber band’s condition and you’ll eventually throw that rubber band out.
From this analogy, you see that coping is finding methods to deal with a situation without actually fixing the root cause. In the case of the rubber band, it doesn’t end well.
Thankfully, you’re not a rubber band.
Your Mental Health
Now, relate that rubber band to your mental health and mental fitness.
Resilience
Fresh out of the package, the rubber band has elasticity and ability to bounce back. When you’re fresh to a career or a relationship, you’re more likely to have resilience and the ability to bounce back to your original shape or condition.
When you hold yourself in high levels of stress for a long period of time, or come to those high levels of stress repeatedly over time, you’re stretching your internal rubber band—your mental health—continuously. You’ll start to lose that elasticity or resilience. You’ll start to lose that ability to bounce back and return to your original shape or condition of good mental health.
So, then what do you do? You try to cope.
Coping
Some coping mechanisms are okay, like taking personal time or doing some self-care. But other coping mechanisms might be unhealthy, like isolation, anger, drinking, or other substance abuse.
Whether it’s through self care or vices, using those tactics to cope is like tying that rubber band or doubling it up to make it useful in the moment. You tie yourself up in a knot or double your emotional suppression in order to manage or cope with that lack of elasticity, that lack of resilience.
But, again, you are not a rubber band. So, as a human, you have an ability to regain your resilience, your elasticity, to mental health. But the question remains, how do we do that?
Regaining Resilience
In order to return to a state of resilience, you have to face it head on. For some, this means therapy, especially if there’s unresolved trauma or other psychological conditions. For others, peer support or mentorship is helpful, especially if a good system is available to support the journey. But for all, coaching is a big stepping stone to regaining your life and finding the right path to a better you.
With coaching, you may be led to therapy or peer support concurrently, but you’ll also get a full picture of your mental rubber band. You’ll start to see yourself like never before and discover paths you didn’t know existed. Best of all, you’ll start to regain a sense of control as you feel yourself regaining that elasticity and finding less need to cope.
Rubber bands are things and things get thrown out, but you’re not a thing. You deserve better than coping. Regain yourself by regaining resilience. If you’re ready to start feeling yourself again and see what’s possible for your future, reach out.