Beneath the Surface
On the surface, first responders have a knack for teamwork and getting the job done. There’s training and protocols to keep things running smoothly. Even in the midst of chaos, they thrive in the job, taking challenges head on. But that’s what the public sees. As always, there’s more beneath the surface.
First responders face challenges that would make the general public tremble. Trauma, critical situations, the worst of humanity, or a familiar face in a tragic event… and that’s only on the job. Off duty, responders have to process everything they couldn’t process while doing the job. If that responder doesn’t have a healthy space or outlet, that trauma builds up, presses down, and calcifies into a heavy burden.
“They Don’t Get It.”
It’s hard to be understood as a first responder. Too often, things are held back because responders feel “they don’t get it.” Families often don’t understand the burden brought home by responders. Even those that do may not know what to do to help or when and how much space to give. Many responders put on a false face, not wanting to burden their loved ones.
Even in departments, responders hold off sharing their struggles. It’s about the job, so everyone goes call to call, working their shifts and ignoring those nagging burdens.
Suck it up.
Don’t share.
They don’t get it anyway.
Seems ironic to keep such things from those who should know, but it’s all too common. That along with fear of seeming unfit for the job you need to keep…
Just keep pushing it down.
Don’t show weakness.
Isolation
This is exactly what leads to isolation in first responders, pushing others away or hiding behind a false face of humor, anger, or even complacency. Soon, the only person who hears your sorrows is yourself. Stuck in self talk, negative thoughts stream in, each detailing things in a dim light, fueling unhealthy emotions: unrest, aggravation, anger, discontentment, annoyance. They all encourage defensive reactions, more negativity, and more isolation.
Dark Roads
Left unchecked, such negativity can lead to dark roads. New vices can replace healthy relationships. Instead of deep, meaningful conversations with friends and loved ones, methods of numbing the pain start. Alcohol, drugs, adult entertainment… any vice will do if it satisfies in the moment. Sometimes pure solitude is enough.
Friendships dwindle. Connections fall apart. Cares fade, even care of getting to work on time. The job is still there, but the people don’t seem as friendly or fun. Accusations are made. Arguments happen. Things get harder. Soon, everything seems so fruitless that you might make some rash, regrettable decisions. It might be quitting or ruining a friendship, but it might be much worse.
A New Light
There’s hope, a new light to pull you out of this darkness. You are not alone in the struggles of first responder life. So many others do get it. You are not alone in facing trauma, at-home stress, personal issues, or anything else. So many first responders before you have come through the darkness, fought for their own lives, and made it out the other side.
Some needed intervention from institutions, others just needed peer support, but they made it out, and you can too. You are not alone. We are here. We get it, because we’re in this too. First responder mental health is finally getting attention with a growing number of support systems.
If you’re in immediate crisis, reach out to one of these support lines right away:
For non-urgent support, check out 50+ Resources to Support First Responders and find the right assistance for you. If you’re not sure what you need, reach out to us. Coaching is a stepping stone to new perspectives and ideas, plus we’ll help you navigate the direction your life needs to thrive. Not sure if you need anything? Check-in here and find out!
You Are Not Alone
“They” may not get it, but we do. You are not alone. Take a breath. Be honest with yourself. You can keep doing what you love in the job and feel better. If you’re anywhere on that dark road, or feeling yourself start to isolate, reach out now. You are valued and we are here. You are not alone.